The 2011, 9 Flake Commandments (aka Flake B gone)

I was talking to some of my buddies this week, the subject of flaking came up once again. I decided to sit down and really think about what has worked for me and what hasn't. There are lot of reasons chick flake but the biggest one is being "lack of comfort" (rapport+trust) in your game and also lack of interest. I don't consider myself a guru nor authority figure (I think I have made that clear in the past) however I do have hundreds of flakes under my belt, and have been flaked on in various way that some guys couldn't fathom.  Here are my rules for dealing with these broads in 2011

1. Be Critical--To often we guys get emotional when a girl flakes, the truth of the matter is to most girls you’re a “stranger” when you first meet her, a complete random guy, when a girl flakes, ask yourself critical questions and be honest

Why did she flake?
When did she flake?
Does her story make sense?

If she says she has to work later, that is a realistic possibility, if she says her mom had a heart attack, I would be very skeptical. I’ve had girls flake on me because of various reasons. However besides her "excuse" or "story" what are the undertones of her excuse, meaning how is she saying it and not necessarily what

Is she apologetic for flaking?
Is she sincerely wanting to make it up to me (counter-offer)?
Is she acting like it’s no big deal?

A woman’s demeanor will tell you everything you need to know. If she is sorry and genuinely wants to make it up to you it makes a bigger difference then if she is just throwing out B.S. The truth is flaking isn‘t always “black & white” sure you can have the “2 strike rule” and other things like that (which I recommend for rookies) but being critical and having the wisdom to weed out a women who is genuine sincere to a women who is not interested shows growth in your game.

2. E's 2 weeks Theory--My buddy “E” had a theory that, if you didn’t meet/hang out with a girl within 2 weeks of meeting her it’s a lost cause. In two weeks a lot can happen. For instance, other guys could put their bid in, her buying temp cools of and it makes it easier for “Jerome” to get at  her. Also life could throw her for a loop and different crap comes up. What does this have to do with flaking? A lot, if you don’t hang out with a girl within the first two weeks, IMO usually is a lost cause (unless by some chance she holla’s at you down the road or something) If a chick likes you she will move mountains to come see you.(I.E. a chick drove 3 hours once to meet me)

3. Breaking rapport--this to me is the biggest indicator that chick will flake, lets say a chick text you in the morning every day “Good morning babe” and all of a sudden she stops or better yet she ceases all forms of communication. This is a huge warning flag, whenever this happens It helps to Stack dates. In my opinion breaking rapport is a woman's way of saying "I'm not interested" if she isn't texting you back or calling you, it's her passive aggressive way of saying "I'm gonna flake" remember actions speak louder then words!

4. Stack dates--I knew this guy named Marcus who had a saying, “I got a backup for my back up”  basically meaning that if plan’s A and B fall throw there is a plan c. Never assume that a chick is gonna show up. I’ve had chicks who were into me in a huge way flake always cultivate more options. Which leads me too

5. 100%--if a girl flakes on you, communicate to her that to see you again she will have to make it up 100%. There no “freeb’s” or “passes”. I’ve had girls flake and told him “What you gonna do to make it up to me?” and guess what they have (one girl drove 45 minutes to buy me lunch, for half an hour then drove back). Reason I do this is because I have self-respect and if you let the girl “off easy” she doesn’t view you as a challenge. Once again apply Critical thinking in this process

6. Be memorable--The biggest thing you as a guy can do is differentiate yourself from the other guys who hit on her. Are you just “another guy I gave him my number too” or are you “Dan the man who made me laugh I can’t wait till he calls". Establishing a connection were you and the girl have a great vibe is important.  I use to number close chicks all the time and the vibe would be iffy, if she is receptive towards your approach, smiling, kinonig, etc I mean this is all basic. The truth is if the intial interaction is weak a girl will most likely flake (this is why I laugh at Guru's who brag about 1 minute number closes, blah been there done that)

7. Qualify/Screen--Know what type of girl your dealing with, When I was in Sales we “qualified” the customer to see what type of product they needed. With girls you qualify what type of girl she is, what she does for work, what she values etc. Knowing more paints a better picture of the girl you dealing with.

8. First 24--If a chick flakes on you and doesn’t get back to you within 24 hours it’s an automatic next. Respect is important and if a girl doesn’t have respect to call you or let you know what’s up then it’s NEXT. If you don’t call into work what happens? Either you get “talked too” or get fired depending on your job’s policy. This should be the same, if she hits you up within the 24 hours, analyze her response, be critical, be honest with yourself. The truth is if a women flakes and doesn't call you or let you know what's up she doesn't respect you period.

9. Keep it moving--If a chick flakes, don’t get upset, keep it moving, it’s easier said then done(been there remember?). Being indifferent is key, you can’t dwell on it, In two years of being in the field dealing with women, I’ve had hundreds of women flake on me. Yup you read it right hundreds!. You must not care, cause you think she cares? I look at it like this if a chick flakes on me, she did me a favor because now I can peruse women who are interested in me and not one who wasn’t! This is not to say that you can’t “check” a women but sometimes the universe has it’s way of balancing things out. I know I would lie and say I don’t get frustrated or mad, I do. However as a guy with the mentality of abundance when it comes to chicks. I know I will meet another one quite soon, she may not be as hot as the one I was just talking too but  I will meet another one.


Sollie

Over and Out